Lackluster Emissions

Last night

I dreamt I was at the Safeway

on a dark and stormy night

just like in scary movies

and all I could think of 

was how badly I needed 

to pee

I searched frantically

for a place to go:

a bathroom, a water closet,

an outhouse, a bucket,

a toilet in the middle of

the Safeway would have sufficed

I just had to go !

my relentless search

was seemingly futile

I began to lose hope 

and as the pressure in 

my bladder built

I noticed that everyone else

in the Safeway had to pee, too

as if to join in unison over a 

singular cause, except in the

context of pissing your pants

it's a lot more like

fierce competition

I started climbing up the rafters

looking for a place to go

while other need-to-pee-ers

followed behind me like

a pack of wolves ravenous

for flesh; pissing, in fact, 

is a basic instinct 

just like hunger

somehow I found a toilet

up there, though I don't know

if you could really call it that

a toilet made out of rubber,

collapsible and warm, having

been left near the heating vents

up in the rafters of this

godforsaken Safeway

I didn't care, and lurched

towards it, with a pack of

need-to-pee-ers hot on my trail

the dream ended

with me peeing into 

this rubber toilet

pants down and

surrounded by people

simultaneously I felt

embarassment and relief

when I woke up

this morning, I still 

had to pee

but I was alone

with a real bathroom

only five feet away

I count myself lucky

and I basked in life's

small luxuries