been gone awhile

the blog just doesn't do it for me no mo'

perhaps because i already question this digital age enough

perhaps because i'm the type who likes to write by hand

perhaps because i'm gearing up to travel

there will be more to come, but not right now.

From the back pages of my heart

...

Oh, Henry

... And this new life I feel is mine, absolutely mine, to use or to smash as I see fit. In this life I am God, and like God I am indifferent to my own fate. I am everything there is- so why worry?

(Miller, "Peace! It's Wonderful!")

Some days, I can't help but feel this way.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Goofy, cute, useless, awesome.

A mildly embarassing case of mistaken identity

One rainy afternoon as I sat in my comfy couch divet mindlessly flipping t.v. channels on on a rare and coveted day off, I came across a clip of a music video. I only saw it for two seconds, and I could've sworn I was witness to a butch lesbian, pop music star on the Much Music countdown.

Could it be true? Clearly this matter would require further investigation. Upon closer inspection (more precisely, google image and a wikipedia entry), I realized that this mysterious gender-bending, chart-topping sensation was, in fact...

... A fifteen-year-old boy named Justin Bieber.

He looks like this



And like this



The lessons to be learned from this brief case of mistaken identity?

a) Teenage boys can be mistaken for cute lesbians.
b) Not to expect anything too earth-rattling, like a chart-topping dyke to hit pop culture. Not yet, at least.

Living City

wet pavement
nervous eyes
honking horns
careless obscenities
culling some
semblance of
a 20-something
life full of
strange faces
sad faces
pissed off faces
one or two
happy faces
buses full
insidious rain
trying hard
not to bump into
anyone since
we're playing
a game where
we pretend
nobody exists
day jobs
night jobs
in between jobs
stiff drinks
fast cash
big ideas
live updates
staving off
boredom by
piling on the
pointless shit
can't spend
a moment alone
in spite of
always needing
to get away
forgetting what
it's like to
have silence but
remembering what
it's like to
have love

the rain on mute

save me from a sight

most unsavory, don't give 

me those junk yard eyes

These are the good times in your life

... so put on a smile, and it'll be alright.

Highlights of the season: Acquiring, then fixing, then riding a bicycle. Not getting hit by a car on said bicycle. Making it down East Hastings not once, but twice in the middle of the night by myself unscathed. Every single barbecue I ever attended. Home-made sangria. Home-made mojitos. Beach days, even though I can count them on one hand. Jogging around like a sweat-loving long distance runner. Discovering Budgies Burritos, best $6.50 you can spend. Planning and executing one hell of a FUNdraiser. Conquering Grouse Mountain the next day. Social Distortion at the Commodore. Receiving letters and postcards from friends all over. Substituting some of my hell-raisin' ways  to catch up on sleep, often. East coast hospitality. Surfing, swimming, kayaking, and wakeboarding in the Atlantic. Allowing great things to become greater...

I am a

reeling riveting ruckus

gonna invade your heart

burning emblems of the modern-day proletariat

shoes hang on the wire

and if I could reach them I

would set them on fire

Summer Underrated

These days I get by

on books, beer, Portuguese songs

and hijacked Q-tips

truespeaker

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."

- Augusten Burroughs

If I were a country singer

I would write a tune

in dedication to all

the gropin'-hearted

As per your request

I hope by the time

you find your words I can be

around to hear them

long fingers +

an affinity

for alliteration is

the root of it all

Ode to Christ, All Mighty

There's this girl

she has this

jump to her walk

a quirky curb hop

a bounce in her stride

the kind that

reminds me of you 

since

you do that, too

I look at that

Frankendrawing

of you all the time

up on my wall

next to 

nothing at all

Cuz Christ

All Mighty

stands alone

Lackluster Emissions

Last night

I dreamt I was at the Safeway

on a dark and stormy night

just like in scary movies

and all I could think of 

was how badly I needed 

to pee

I searched frantically

for a place to go:

a bathroom, a water closet,

an outhouse, a bucket,

a toilet in the middle of

the Safeway would have sufficed

I just had to go !

my relentless search

was seemingly futile

I began to lose hope 

and as the pressure in 

my bladder built

I noticed that everyone else

in the Safeway had to pee, too

as if to join in unison over a 

singular cause, except in the

context of pissing your pants

it's a lot more like

fierce competition

I started climbing up the rafters

looking for a place to go

while other need-to-pee-ers

followed behind me like

a pack of wolves ravenous

for flesh; pissing, in fact, 

is a basic instinct 

just like hunger

somehow I found a toilet

up there, though I don't know

if you could really call it that

a toilet made out of rubber,

collapsible and warm, having

been left near the heating vents

up in the rafters of this

godforsaken Safeway

I didn't care, and lurched

towards it, with a pack of

need-to-pee-ers hot on my trail

the dream ended

with me peeing into 

this rubber toilet

pants down and

surrounded by people

simultaneously I felt

embarassment and relief

when I woke up

this morning, I still 

had to pee

but I was alone

with a real bathroom

only five feet away

I count myself lucky

and I basked in life's

small luxuries

To the apathetic litter bugs:

Any cigarette

butt you litter stokes fires of

karmic discontent

me and my friends

1. hiking the landing pad
2. having more fun than you can imagine
3. www.katalinnovations.com

Anatomy of Good Riddance

You would have to dig

pretty deep to put your hand

on my foolish heart

A note to my muses...

Don't be scared if I

write a line or two about

you. Better than none.

Be Your Own Doll

I don't have to hurt

any of you, since I can 

make myself draw blood

Until We Speak Again

I will sit and feel

overripe and blow kisses

in your direction

add it to the list

that boy has these lithe

wondrous enticing magic

mending dyke hands

childhood tactics

the world is upside

down, so climb the monkey bars.

hang out, enjoy it.

custom-made irony

it's kind of ok
that I'm your untouchable
you kind of screwed me

in truest andro form

genderfuck with care:
take a peek at my musing
magnet underwear

how 'bout you?

now it hits me that
maybe, sometimes, a fish needs
a good bicycle

With regard to Other Woman (v.2)

I'm going to turn this jealousy into love !
Somewhere, isn't jealousy just love all shook up?
morphed, stirred, twisted...

Take heed to my will, my willingness
to be (happy for) your happiness
carefully constructed in another's arms

Maybe I hold nothing against us
She's a pretty thing; the perfect subject
for your pretty pictures